Oneliners als onderschrift.

[Jeroen]

Onderschriften bestaan soms uit geweldige oneliners.

Forumlid FAL uit Alabama had onlangs deze:

"Life is 100% fatal, might as well enjoy the time you've got."

Enkele andere van members van een USforum zijn deze:

"I swear to god, it's like I live in a trailer of common sense, and stare out the window at a tornado of stupidity."

"Rule for Life: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape."

"Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver."

"If you lend someone $20,- and you never see this person again, it was probably worth it."

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."


Iemand nog een andere leuke?

gr J

[Peter]

Never drive faster then your Gaurdian Angel van fly.


The second place is the first loser !

[FAL]

I carry a gun because I can't carry a cop.

Donating to local law enforcement.....one ticket at a time.

I choose to die living, and not live dying.

Don't take life to serious, you'll never make it out alive.

I will not tiptoe through life just to arrive safely at death.

[Jeroen]

Keep'em coming.

Een Nederlandse van een vriend: "Het is niet erg dat je een bord voor je kop hebt, als er maar sorry op staat".

gr J

[ricardo3]

vond de mijne ook wel geinig. Zie onderschrift

[MIKE C200]

wer sein auto liebt der schiebt.

wer spater bremst ist langer snell

Wat men aan verstand tekort komt moet men met geld bijleggen.(MBenzNL)

[Jeroen]

Inderdaad, die was me vandeweek ook opgevallen.

gr J

[ricardo3]

hier heb ik er ook nog wat
Het feit dat er 'intelligente' buitenaardse bestaan wordt bewezen door het feit dat ze nog geen contact met ons gezocht hebben.
Wees aardig voor rokers,
iedere sigaret kan de laatste zijn.
Ik wou dat ik een vulkaan was.
De hele dag roken en de anderen die zeggen : kijk, hij werkt!
Italiaans spreken gaat nog moeizaam,
maar ik eet en drink het al voortreffelijk.
Nostalgie is ook niet meer wat het geweest is.
Bedenk steeds dat je uniek bent, net als iedereen!
Gelezen in een ziekenhuis :
'De psychiater mag niet gestoord worden'
Kwam ik gisteren de kroeg uit,
rijdt er toch wel een brommer over mijn handen

[Ed]

Of iets religieus:
Ga met God maar zet wel altijd je auto op slot.

[Sterretje1968]

"I swear to god, it's like I live in a trailer of common sense, and stare out the window at a tornado of stupidity."

SCHITTEREND!!!

Beschrijft het gevoel dat ik heb sinds ik op de luchthaven werk. (wat kunnen mensen dom zijn)

Die van Ricardo vind ik ook leuk.

[mr. Michel]

Zie onderstaande oneliner in min sig, gebruikte ik ook op een ander forum

of deze:

"iedereen heeft recht op mijn mening"

[Ruben]

Remember there are no stupid questions, just stupid people

[sjarkey]

i dont drive fast , i just fly low

[IJspeert]

Een paar terug wat leuke quotes verzameld op Alt Fan Landrover, dus er zitten er een paar bij die over landrover gaan..

Fuel is fairly benign on its own, but when there is oxygen around it
becomes pretty volatile. A bit like my mother-in-law and sherry...

After all he was an "expert." "Ex" meaning hasbeen - "Spert" a drip

We have a saying: "Shall we take it to an expert, or shall we cock it up ourselves?"

I suppose that owning a Land Rover is rather like owning a dog.
They tend to take after their owners.
Old, rusty, full of holes, with leaks all over the place.
Noisy, slow and drinks a lot. You have to be nice to them, so they'll
work for you and when you've got one working, they won't be hurried!

Wisdom comes with age,I bet you wish you knew what you do now when you were 20.

Drive-by-wire? 300TDi?
Maybe there's a bit of wire attached to the go-faster pedal, which pulls
a lever on the fuel thingy and makes the loud bit louder?

I'm not racist or guilty of singling anyone out, I say hang 'em ALL.

I'm not speaking from experience but knowledge... i.e.
experience is when you've got it wrong and learned how it should be done...
knowledge is reading about someone getting it wrong and passing on their
tale of woe... then getting it all mixed up again.

If you want to see a grown man cry, watch him when it is emissions test
time on his landy!

Being several yards under the North Sea would worry me too. The Tunnel is
under the English Channel;-)

You're up late. No babies looming I guess?

I sound like I know what I'm talking about, but don't be fooled.

This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it.

Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them.

Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what 'I' say."

We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees

Don't worry, my wife gets just as annoyed with me because I am NEVER wrong!!!!

Driving is like climbing - Try to keep 3 points of contact with the tarmac.

When you get to the point where you really understand your computer
It's probably obsolete.

I find the best answer is a few pints - with the beer goggles on, most of
these issues seem to go away.

In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.

Three point turn, not now ,not ever, my 109" hase the turning circle of
the Titanic and is just as waterproof!

Perfection in design is achieved not when there is nothing left to add,
but rather when there is nothing left to take away."

If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person --
they will find an easier way to do it.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

God, grant me SERENITY to deal with problems I can't change,
COURAGE to face the challenges of all other problems and
WISDOM to hide the bodies of those who fuck with me."

Now, if you're wanting to show people you don't know what you are doing, you've came to the right place to make stupid statements.

I don't seem to have any trouble finding work - it's everywhere, I
trip over it every time I turn around. Getting PAID for it is an
issue, though...

REASONABLE CLIMATE, come on, I live in the UK the only way you can tell
summer from winter is by the temperature of the rain!!!


We are all free to do exactly as we're told. If you're not paranoid, you're not paying enough attention.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This morning on the freeway
I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph
with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane,
still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily.
But she scared me so much;
I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand.
In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone, Soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Damn women drivers
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Makes an even better boat anchor if attached to the end of a suitable chain!

[Peter]

Ik ken er ook nog wel één over LandRover:
Wat vet is, roest niet